A Natural Low

I feel bad. I think I am depressed. There is that feeling in my stomach, heavy, like a stone pulling me down.

They say that it is most common for people to get depressed in February. It's the middle of winter. People don't get out as much. There is statistically less sunlight. People do not get sufficient Vitamin E. That makes them depressed.

I am wary of medicine's tendency to make every physical, emotional, or mental ache pathological. There is medication for everything. Attention Deficit Disorder is a perfect example: this drug is given to children who are hyper-active, limited concentration, and the need to constantly be in motion. Those "symptoms" don't seem pathological to me. Those "symptoms" describe what it is like to be a child. Aren't children supposed to be full of energy and verve?

So here I sit. Depressed. Blogging. Trying to figure out what is the cause of this feeling, this stone in my stomach, that is making me sad. Maybe it is just natural. No one seems to question the pathology of feeling good, why should we treat feeling bad any different? I doubt that this feeling will last forever. I have felt this way before and it pasted with time. Just like the times I am, for no apparent reason, feeling really good passed with time. Maybe it isn't pathological, maybe feeling low is a natural and healthy part of being alive.

Or maybe I just haven't got enough Vitamin E...

Putting It Together

I steal. Bits of choreography. I watch music videos, reality tv dance competitions, Broadway shows and I steal. Maybe that's too harsh. I borrow.

"Do you feel like less of an artist when you steal," he asks me. He isn't afraid to be critical. He loves me.

I work at a pizza place. At this independent delivery joint we serve pasta and sandwhiches and salads as well. My boss has always maintained that we do not "cook". We are not "chefs". We assemble. We compile different ingredients on a bed of spinach or arugula, or spelt crusts, or whole wheat wraps. We mix and match different flavours to wow the taste buds and satisfy the appetite. I feel I have a similar approach to art.

The novelist does not make up new words. All language is learned by borrowing, or should I say "stealing", words that we hear as children. The novelist, the poet even, makes their art by mixing and matching different words to wow the read and satisfy their ned for literature.

The musician uses an instrument used by thousands of people for many many years. They play notes and chords that are a part of an established repetoire. The ballet dancer has set positions that have been establish for centuries. My art is no different.

If then all creative works are built upon "stolen" pieces. What is creativity?

Creativity is not the pieces, but the manner in which they are put together.
Creativity is not the what, but the how.