Fortune's Fool

Life has been good to me. Almost too good of late.

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"It sucks to be me. It sucks to me be."
- from "Avenue Q"

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Last week I booked and shot a commercial for Ikea. To be an actor and do what an actor does instead of just auditioning over and over and over again without any success. Sure, it was a ten second spot, without much character development nor plot, but it was still in front of a camera, it was still a challenge, it was still acting. Now I am an actor because I act. I no longer feel ashamed calling myself something that I am not by virtue of the fact I did not do what is necessary part of that which I call myself. More than being able to be justified in calling myself an actor, I am happier to have acted. Hopefully I will land another commercial soon.

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The Fringe festival happens every July in Toronto. This year, I decided I would buy a five play pass to force myself to watch some shows. I saw a show that happened in a pool on a raft, one about the foils of workings, another about Betrayal (called Betrayal), one about what it means to be a man, and another musical that featured the Cabaret music and Burlesque. My favorite moment in recent memory, was the feeling of anxious, happy anticipation as the lights go down before the curtain goes up.
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The City of Toronto holds a festival in both the summer and winter in which restaurants offer their haute cuisine for very reasonable prix fixe prices. My dear friend and I went for lunch the other afternoon. He had the mixed greens, Pork Tenderloin, and I had the Gazpaucho, and Chicken crepe in Djion jus. We shared a carafe of wine, glasses of champagne, and Chocolate torte. All for under fifty dollars. Good food. Good friends. Good time.

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"What a wonderful feeling! I'm happy again. Just singing, singing in the rain"
- from "Singing in the Rain"

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I love musicals. Even when life isn't good, they still find some reason for music. No matter what it is that is keeping them down, it's still living, and they still feel so alive they have no other option to let go and sing.

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It didn't go well, but who knows. You never know with these things, it's a real crap shoot. With auditions for commercials, you can't let them get to you, you just got to keep moving on. So off I went, for the rest of my day. I walked to the exit. Shit. It's raining. I decide to brave it. It is only a block to the transit shelter. A little water didn't hurt anybody. I put my headphones in my ears and I turn on the music. I open the door and step out. I can't stay where I am.
It's wet. It's raining harder than I thought. But it's warm. It's almost nice. No. It is nice. I thought, it's rain, and being wet from the rain isn't nice, but that's not true. And my music. It moves me. So I move. No one is on the street so there is plenty of room to dance. So I dance. The rain is refreshing. Dancing on the street is liberating.
Keep going. Move forward. Even if it's raining. You may enjoy it.

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"Each time you smile, it will only last awhile."
- from "Avenue Q"

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I feel that it is only a matter of time before I become fortune's fool. My life is so good as of late. I have so much to look forward.
Deep down, some how, I think something has to go wrong. It can't be good like this for much longer. Life doesn't work that way.
But even when it rains, even when something doesn't go your way, just keep singing.