Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The European Experience # 36

No matter where I go, it seems I find solace and salvation in art.

The European Experience # 35

Sometimes I don't eat so I can afford to go to the theatre: I feel it feeds me better.

The European Experience # 34

The GREATEST TRAGEDY that has occurred in Europe is not World War II, but the fact they do not yet have RENT: The Movie Musical, either in cinemas nor on DVD.

'' The Opposite of War isn't Peace, It's Creation!''

The Eurpean Experience # 33

We are saying goodbye. He invited me into his apartment for tea. This time he did not kiss me on each cheek like is the custom. Instead, he pulled me close and hugged me tightly. He lingered.

Could he feel the beating of my heart?

The European Experience # 33

'' Eastern European's are odd.''

'' Polish men have incredible bodies.''

'' Brazilians are hot lovers.''

'' The French are rude and cold.''

'' Canadians are nice.''

'' British people speak the best English.''

Everyone feels they are entitled to judge and generalize. Everyone feels they are entitled to reduce thousands and millions of people who share a nation into four or five word sentences that completely sum up every individual who belongs to that community.

Ethnography is universal.

Entitlement is universal.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

The European Experience # 32

'' My name is Kris. With a K, '' he yells to me over the loud music at the club. Kris with a K makes me smile. He is an Opera singer who grooves to Old Skool Green Day.
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Every Friday afternoon at the Opera House, there is a '' tea dance ''. All the old timers get fancied up and come and dance the chacha or the Merange to a live band. There is an aged couple dancing together; the gentlemen is chacha-ing with a cane. Kris and I laugh at the beauty of the tea dance.
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Kris has snuck us into the theatre to watch a rehearsal for the ballet. The beauty takes our breath away.
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'' I will be good in this life to be reincarnated as a ballet dancer in the next, '' I said.
'' You want to live a life in pain, '' he replies.
'' Pain is part of what it is to be beautiful, '' I answer.
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'' Dancers in rehearsal wear these tattered clothes only held together by mere threads. These strategically worn vestments frame their bodies so, in their minds, the dancers say to themselves ' I am wearing these god-forsaken rags and you still want me!' ,'' Kris tells me.
I agree. I know the pain of desire.
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Pain is beautiful. Beauty is painful.
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The dancers krush my heart with their beautiful movement that it causes such pain in my soul.
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I have a krush on Kris with a K.
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I want our hands to touch, our eyes to meet, our lips to curve into a smile.
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My desire is painful.

The European Experience # 31

Life is like travelling in a foreign country: In order to get where you're going you have to follow the signs. At times it is difficult (if not impossible) to read and understand the signs, at times you'll find there are apparently no visible signs and you'll get lost, at times you need other people to tell you the way, but if you just keep going, moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other, you will get where you're going and learn about where you are and who you are on the way.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

The European Experience # 30

'' Paris is dead '', he says to me.

I think that this is odd, considering he is french.

Everyone wants to be somewhere else. No one wants the obligations of home.

Escape is universal.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

What I Know About Love.

Love is both a personal and shared experience. Love is a personal feeling that is the result of a relationship between two people. Love therefore is dependent, it exists within a person, and co-dependent, it is the product of a relationship between two people..

Love is more than a feeling.

Love seems to encompass all the emotional experiences of life: (un)happiness, (dis)satisfaction, anger, jealousy, fucking and fighting, loneliness and loss (when your lover is gone), it appeals to all the senses (your lovers voice, touch, taste, etc...)

Love is a feeling that is shared directly between two people. Two people can share happiness, but that feeling is the product not of the individuals involved, but from a common reaction to something outside of the individuals involved. No other emotion is identically shared between two people.

The scary thing about love is that it is dependent on someone else. Love is out of your control. Everyone is afraid of that which is beyond control.

In many ways love is like all other human emotions: Love is dependent on things outside of the self and in the world.

Most people fear love because they fear being hurt. Being hurt is inevitable: Embrace it.
Love is a just reward.

The European Experience # 29

My blog is becoming less and less about what is universal and more and more about me.

Where ever I go, there I will be.

OR

The individual is universal.

The European Experience # 28

To be in love is not to be co-dependent.

Love is also a very selfish act. Love, like all feelings, is something that is personal. No one can feel what another feels and that is true with love.

Love is the product of a relationship. The cliche is true '' It takes two to tango''.

To reduce love the only co-dependent feeling is false. Anger, jealousy, happiness etc... all require a relationship between an individual and something in the world. Human beings do not just spontaneously feel - Emotion is inspired within us from the stuff of the real world. Love, though, is particular to a relationship between people.

Yes. I want to be in love. No. I do not need someone else to be happy. I am happy now.

I just want to feel that ineffable euphoria, that feeling that is mine and mine alone, that accompanies being in love.

I must think more on this topic.

The European Experience # 27

Yes. I have a lot of (too much?) sex.
I am chasing the dragon. Yes, sex does get me off and that feels good. But I am searching for that mind-blowing, passionate, sweaty, animal, tender, body shaking sex, lick me everywhere, kiss me softly, fuck me deeply, timed perfectly, multiple location, multiple position, hot, loud, caring, memorable, sex.

That kind of sex only comes when in love.

I want to be in love.

But not just for the sex, for all that other stuff too...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The European Experience # 26

'' You always have a lover waiting at home for you, '' the Slovakian says to me (the same boy who coined the term ' spicy ')

I don't have a lover waiting for me. Anywhere...

I just have fabulous friends who are willing to share their lives with me whenever I reach out to them. And I am making new friends everyday...

The European Experience # 25

'' Philosophy has no other aim that tailoring a tight jacket to fit what exists - a mathematical straight jacket '' - Geoerge Batailles

I like this quote.

The European Experience # 24

You can't escape the world.

The World is universal.

The European Experience # 23

They sit in tall grass in the park. They nuzzle; he kisses her neck and she coos with delight. They look into each others eyes on a warm Wednesday afternoon in the park. They are in love.

Romance in universal.

The European Experience # 22

It is a coincidence. Or maybe not... The World is small.

The asshole who left me with a pen in my hand and no phone number is at the bar. For whatever reason, he feels compelled to talk to me again.

'' That boy is spicy '', he tells me randomly during our conversation. He is pointing to a blonde shirtless Adonis youth. The boy has that rare quality to be both beautiful, desireable, and erotic all at once.

'' Yes. '' I agree out loud. ''Spicy'' means hot I think to myself.

Miscommunication is universal.

The European Experience # 21

'' My best friend and I have the same voice teacherf, except my best friend has had five lessons in the past month and my voice teacher won't return my texts or calls. So if I go to this good bye dinner, I refuse to sit next to my voice teacher or I will leave.''

'' Oh '', is all I can muster for a reply.

Drama is universal.

The European Experience # 20

Where ever I go...

I am universal.

Monday, May 22, 2006

The European Experience # 19

He tells me I am too ''spicy''. He asks if he can give me his number. I go to grab a pen.
When I return he is gone...

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She writes ''Your universal theme is universal''(or something like that)

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I smile at him. I have no intentions of going home with him, talking to him, or even getting to know him on any level.

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Assholes are universal.