The Next Chapter

The Writer is coming.

Here.

Fragments Unrelated

I have cut caffeine out of my diet. Since I have cut caffeine out of my diet, I have been consuming much more Musical Theatre; I listen to Original Cast Recordings constantly. I have also been crying a lot lately as well. This does not bode well.

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The new Manager at MacDonalds is very beautiful. Deep blue eyes, full lips, high defined cheek bones, a strong masculine jaw line, broad shoulders and a slim waist.
Beauty within the MacDonlads corporation seems to be a Paradox.

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The people I hate will most likely be successful for the exact reasons why I hate them. This is why there is no justice in the world.

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Something always takes the place of missing pieces.
That does not mean that this puzzle is complete.
I can't make out the image the myriad of pieces attempt to show me.
Nothing is clear.

Crying at Lunch Time

There are tears in my Campbell's Mushroom Soup.
I added Rosemary too. It's better that way.

You Don't Really Like Beethoven

Grey's Anatomy, Crime and Punishment, a university class in Music Appreciation, following the NHL, and even some sexual relations. The list goes on I'm sure.

The list above refers to television I watch, books I've read, things I have learned, and even people I have slept with in order to increase my social capital.

Social Capital: that which gives an individual leverage in social interaction; outlets to create rapport through common interests or experiences; stories or anecdotes that are amusing, shocking, and/or outrageous in order to capture the attention of others in a given social situation.

I would argue, as I am sure it has been argued before, that most of what we do is motivated, either consciously or subconsciously, by the desire to increase one's social capital. The problem that follows is trying to distinguish what the value of these pursuits is beyond their social capital. Do I actually like Grey's Anatomy, or do I merely watch it and so my room mate and I have something to obsess over?

Most fear acknowledging that their love of Beethoven, at least where their love originated, is a product of wanting to seem cultural and artistic in the eyes of friends and colleagues. Admitting the universal motivating force of social capital makes one seem dishonest or insincere. If social capital does motivate all our pursuits, we are only hypocritical if we do not acknowledge it's influence. It is only dishonest if we DON'T concede to the influence of social capital.

It may seem cynical. It may take all the fun out of classical music and the literature of the canon. It may cause doubt and second guessing. But even this Blog is a product of paying with social capital.

Gay is Culture

"Do you even like Britney Spears?," he asks.
"She is annoying most of the time. Except when I am drunk on the dance floor."
"She is my guilty pleasure," he replies.

He is my dental hygenist. I see him about twice a year in which most of the time his hands are poking at the teeth inside my mouth. Conversation rarely occurrs.

"I wish I had tickets to Barbara Streisand. God I love her!" I gush.
"I have never been a big fan. I mean, she is a great vocalist, but she is just not my style. I am more of a Madonna fan."

This is what always happens. I sit in the dentist's chair and he comments on whatever is on the tv. He prefers MuchMusic or MTV. In the moments his hands are not in mouth, I response to his pop music commentary.

"I went to see Madonna in New York." he tells me.
"Wasn't that during New York City Pride?" I ask.
"It was the week before I think. I can't remember."

I know very little about this man. The relationship between dental hygenist and patient remains elusive. Yet, his hands are in my mouth.

"Do you ever go to DanceCamp at Fly Nightclub?" he asks.
"I am more of Buddies man myself."

I know very little about this man. Yet, I know he is gay. I do not know if he sleeps with men. I assume he does, but that does not mean it is a fact. What I do know is that he loves Madonna, has a critical opinion of Babs, is aware of Pride, and frequents gay nightclubs. These facts do not tell the sexual preference of my dental hygenist. It is possible that many men whom engage sexually with women loves Madonna, has a critical opinion of Babs, is aware of Pride, and frequents gay nightclubs. What I do know is that my dental hygenist is gay. Not gay sexually, but gay culturally.

In an age of fluid sexuality, the homosexual is dead. Men who sleep with men at one moment are fucking and marrying women the next. But no matter who they are fucking at any given time, if they liked Madonna before they probably still do today.

Gay is not sex.
Gay is culture.

Professor: Mind And Body

I have always found him attracted. That is to say since I first saw him at the first day of classes two weeks ago. Not that it matters when I first found him attracted, what matters is that I found him and continue to find him attractive. Today, I notice he has a new haircut.

Professors are very particular creatures. Their purpose and appeal, for the most part, is cerebral. Their identity, from the perspective of the student, is a product of their intellect. They are academic animals. Being such cerebral creatures, it is an odd experience to confront the professor as a physical being.

He walked into class with a new haircut. He is not just an intellectual academic mind. He is more than "professor". He has hair and toe nails and blisters and is susceptible to the common cold and will have crows feet at the corner of his eyes in years to come and will show many other symptoms of being a living body. He is not just "professor". He is human being.

He is my professor. I have always found him attractive. Even with the new haircut.