Monday, September 19, 2005

The Best Policy?

In a relationship, When is honesty not the best policy? In terms of the best sex you've ever had, or the inevitable issues that arise from insecurities about ones body, or even regarding that big question "Do You Love Me?",
Can you spare your lover's feelings by avoiding complete honesty?
(Can honesty be incomplete?)

Is it possible to spare the feelings of those we love?

If we avoid honesty, there is the risk of being found out. And if we are, the attempt to spare our lover's feelings has failed. We hurt our lover not only by being discovered to be dishonest, but the revelation that we attempted to hide from them to keep from hurting them will hurt them as well. But what if we do get away with our avoidance of honesty?

If we are sparing the feelings of our lover, is dishonesty the best policy if and only if there is no chance of being found out?
Is there a difference between being dishonest, not completely honest, and/or avoiding honesty?
Is true love what we share when feelings don't need to be spared and honesty is the best/only option?
Or should those ask questions like "Do I look fat in this?" been punished by having their feelings hurt by an honest response?
Is it a hard a fast rule that Honesty is the best policy?

5 comments:

Mr.Carl.Lee said...

Hey... seems like we cover the same subjects at times. Check my post of honesty and truth 9.17.2005 [untitled]...

I've subscribed to yours, more than likely I'll exchange theory with you

nk said...

Kant says we have a categorical imperative to tell the truth in all circumstances. Maybe we should listen to him.

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I think that the people that have commented and have said nothing constructive or supportive and have simply directed attention back to themselves or their own websites are quite self-absorbed.

How about saying something like, Stephen, your thoughts are important and the consideration of expressing truth or using deception to blunt hard reality is valid and necessary. I think I told you that my dad likes to say "it's more important to be nice than to be right."

Anonymous said...

I think you have to take the hardline, because if you don't, the nuances will catch up to you.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and hey Jordan, those people you're referring to are called "comment spammers." They're not real people.