Tuesday, January 15, 2008

It's Not About You

"It's not about them. It's about me," he tells me.

I have always followed the rule that in order to engagessexual activity with a person one must find that person sexually attractive. I thought everyone followed that rule. Apparently not.

"So... Were they hot?" I ask.

"Not really," he casually replies.

"How can you have sex with someone who you find less than attractive," I inquire.

"It's not about them. It's about me," he tells me.

What does this say about me?

If he is my boyfriend (and he is), and if we have sex (which we do), then it is possible that he finds me less than attractive. I could be anybody. I can be any body.

I am many things. I am heart. I am soul. I mind. I am body.

But am I just any body?

Does he love me? Yes. There is no doubt.
Does he desire me? Maybe... This is where doubt begins.

3 comments:

artsmonkey said...

one can have sex with someone they aren't all that attracted to when it's all about them. question: is your sex with him all about him? i doubt you would stay in something this long if it was.

Anonymous said...

Karl should treat you better. You are a prince after all.

bedroomprince said...

Karl treats me very well. This post, though unearthing an honest instance of insecurity, means to articulate the difficulty of compatible sexualities. Sexuality is not just who you sleep with or how you fuck, but also why we desire and actively express that desire.