In one post, I boast about my most recent hot threesome. A post later, I am confessing my love for my long-distance long-term long-lost lover. Then I am back to dishing the deal on my latest late night lay.
Can such polygamy exist in a seemingly loving committed relationship?
Yes.
We seem to be able to share ourselves emotionally, intellectually, and even spiritually with our close friends.
So why do we treat sharing ourselves sexually any differently?
Carrie Bradshaw (infamously) accuses herself of being "emotionally" slutty as she tried to woo Berger. She opens herself up too much and too quickly. I believe that we can be emotionally slutty (like Carrie suggests), intellectually slutty, and even spiritually slutty. Sex isn't just the only thing that we can share with too many people too often.
I am not suggesting cutting ourselves off from our close friends on a emotional, intellectual, or spiritual level, but instead I suggest opening ourselves to the possibility of sexual relationships with friends. Even within a relationship.
Why is it acceptable to get emotional, intellectual, and spiritual support from outside of a relationship, but taboo to get any sexual satisfaction?
I think it is time to think outside of the Christian-Marriage Paradigm box and acknowledge that sex shouldn't be any different from all the other parts of a healthy lifestyle. I advocate safe-sex like I advocate a glass of orange juice a day - both keep you healthy and out of the hospital. If we re-consider how we treat sex, we can re-consider how we approach relationships.
If we consider sexual satisfaction amongst the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual support we are getting from outside a monogamous relationship, then no relationship should feel like it's a trap or a cage. A relationship becomes the most intimate of all our friendships: The most committed, the most solid, the most stable, but no means something to tie someone down.
Even if personally, you don't feel that such promiscuous sex is something you are interested in, inside of relationship or not, I would suggest breaking the down the preconceived barriers of the typical (Christian) relationship. If you follow this old and tired model for love and frienship, you lack vision and creativity. Think about what you want from the people whom you share your life with. Negotiate.
And Get What You Want!
Can such polygamy exist in a seemingly loving committed relationship?
Yes.
We seem to be able to share ourselves emotionally, intellectually, and even spiritually with our close friends.
So why do we treat sharing ourselves sexually any differently?
Carrie Bradshaw (infamously) accuses herself of being "emotionally" slutty as she tried to woo Berger. She opens herself up too much and too quickly. I believe that we can be emotionally slutty (like Carrie suggests), intellectually slutty, and even spiritually slutty. Sex isn't just the only thing that we can share with too many people too often.
I am not suggesting cutting ourselves off from our close friends on a emotional, intellectual, or spiritual level, but instead I suggest opening ourselves to the possibility of sexual relationships with friends. Even within a relationship.
Why is it acceptable to get emotional, intellectual, and spiritual support from outside of a relationship, but taboo to get any sexual satisfaction?
I think it is time to think outside of the Christian-Marriage Paradigm box and acknowledge that sex shouldn't be any different from all the other parts of a healthy lifestyle. I advocate safe-sex like I advocate a glass of orange juice a day - both keep you healthy and out of the hospital. If we re-consider how we treat sex, we can re-consider how we approach relationships.
If we consider sexual satisfaction amongst the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual support we are getting from outside a monogamous relationship, then no relationship should feel like it's a trap or a cage. A relationship becomes the most intimate of all our friendships: The most committed, the most solid, the most stable, but no means something to tie someone down.
Even if personally, you don't feel that such promiscuous sex is something you are interested in, inside of relationship or not, I would suggest breaking the down the preconceived barriers of the typical (Christian) relationship. If you follow this old and tired model for love and frienship, you lack vision and creativity. Think about what you want from the people whom you share your life with. Negotiate.
And Get What You Want!
4 comments:
Interesting arguments, although I disagree.
You disagree? Go on... On What Grounds.
I find that I used to be a lot sluttier (sp?), intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. As I have gotten older, I've become less so. It’s not that I’m a prude, or ungenerous, or that I don’t have and enjoy sexual, emotional, or intellectual intercourse -- I’ve just become pickier. Or maybe I have less energy? Or don't want to waste it on just anybody?
I remember thinking at my 30th birthday party (which was terrific, and huge, with over 80 people from all corners of my life) that this party was an homage to my 20s: it was literally a tribute to the time and energy I had invested in being intellectually, emotionally, and sexually “slutty.”
But I agree with you, and I have no regrets about having been a slut. I think it’s great you're having a lot of sex. At this time in your life I think you should be.
i think in my world it is easier said than done to be slutty on most levels. those of us in liberal communites have more acceptance and opportunity... but mostly we all have to fight for our right to be slutty... on another note, i think slutty is maybe the wrong word. slutty to me describes some sort of detachment or superficiality. it's only giving part of the package - be it emotional, sexual or spiritual - sometimes when we separate one from the rest it leaves us with something unfinished. i don't know. it's difficult to explain.
Post a Comment