When one is a social butterfly in the urban jungle, eager to meet new people and go to new places to do new things, life can be a river that sweeps you away. You are no longer in control, swimming across, but the current keeps you afloat (barely) and leads you down stream.
I find myself in such circumstances of late.
I am haunted by the guilt that my excess of social activity is wasting away time that can be spent on more productive activity. I am fortunate in the fact that, unlike many other lost souls, I know what more I can be doing with my life than wasting it away . I am no longer in control of my time it seems as I drown in an over-abundance of social obligations that I have willing took on.
In a recent dialogue I've shared with an intimate acquaintance, the value of solitude was at issue. I will be the first to argue the case for human as social animal. I will be the first to argue the value of social interaction with loved ones and strangers alike. I will be the first to argue ideas of self as a product of action in relation to others and not a single solitary state of being. Yet, solitude seems like a solution for my current circumstance.
Yes, solitude is a solution. I romanticize the role of the recluse. The enigmatic artist locked away in their room, as their brilliant work flow from their finger tips late into the night... But like all things, solitude is only truly beneficial in moderation, even for the artist.
To put my life and the current circumstances I find myself in in perspective, balance is key. I need to find solitude for myself in order to achieve my personal goals. Yet, such artistic goals I have set out for myself are dependent on being social in order to achieve a greater understanding of humanity and the world we live in; such achievements mean little unless I can share it with those whom I love dearly. In the jungle, no one is alone.
To be alone or not to be alone, that is not the question.
When and how to be alone, or when and how not to be alone is the question.
Once I've mastered that, my life will be considerably more satisfying. Once I've mastered that, this social butterfly will be king of the urban jungle.
4 comments:
There is good solitude, and there is bad solitude. I love being alone, I loved living by myself. But it's only good when it's by choice. If I have the option of gathering a group of friends and going out, or staying in and dancing to Kelly Clarkson, I'll usually pick Kelly, and I'll be comfortable with that.
It's those days where I have no one to spend time with (like Christmas time when everyone is out of town), that I find myself really lonely in a bad way. Not because I'm by myself, but because I have to be. Remember that time when you would stay in every night and watch old movies? That was a good time because it was your decision, no? Don't feel pressured to be social. Be social because you're in a social mood. Be a recluse because you need "you" time. You're right when you say balance is key. I'm a Libra.
"One can be instructed in society, one is only inspired in solitude."
~Goethe
I wonder where society stops and solitude begins. Even when we shut the door, are we really alone? Are we free from the outside world? The only hope is that solitude is a state mind, and if that's the case, one can go there at any time.
To be alone in a room of people and to feel loved in a forest -- to feel the extremeities of emotion and know that both are healthy -- ah, what a dream that would be.
Oh
hello
there
little
thinker
which social engagements are adding quality to your life and your art and which are taking away? how do you decide....
who knows.
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