It's a date. It's Saturday night. I am single and looking for love. Going on a date only seems natural.
There is not go for dinner, but there is a movie. I buy popcorn, a hot dog, and a large pop. I get a coupon for two-for-one admission next time I come to this theatre. Is this an omen for things to come? I cross my fingers even though I know this means that no one can hold my hand.
The movie is appropriately "gay". It follows a transexuals women as she comes to terms with her past by accepting and loving her estranged son. I sit next to three middle age women. I offer them some of my popcorn. I have far too much.
The movie starts. I laugh. I cry. I am too enraptured in the film to pay attention to anyone else. This is the point of going to the movies.
The movie ends. I want to weep. I am afraid of being seen crying.
I hold the rest of the bag popcorn under my arm, throw my hot dog wrapper into my empty pop cup, and exit the theatre.
The night is romantic.
Despite how I am alone.
I have no lover. My Saturday nights are spent going on a date to the movies with myself.
If no one will love me, if no one will want to be with me, I will love being by myself.
But that never stopped me for wanting this strange women next to me to hold my hand as I cried.
1 comment:
Stephen, that entry was inspirational and courageous. I have often gone to movies alone, and find the experience to be most satisfying. The greatest part is that when you get up to go to the washroom, you can return to a different seat.
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