The Replacements

I have been replaced.

My ex has found a new love, a new fuck, a new boyfriend, a new romantic interest. Whatever you want to call it, he has found my replacement.

I often mentioned that when he left to Korea, as we would inevitably grow apart, he allowed for the possiblity of replacing me. He, in his pseudo-philosophical non-commital ambiguous way claimed he could never replace me, he would merely find someone different to explore existence with.

What is behind this polarity?

Do we merely replace those that we love but loose, or, as my ex supposes, do we keep our lovers in our hearts forever despite nurturing new relationships?

Maybe all of our relationships are merely Freudian sublimations of our desire for our Mothers. As we grow older and sexually mature, our friendships and romantic entanglements are simply an effort to divide our intense love for our mothers to socially acceptable objects. Once we loose one object that was an outlet for, in this case, romantic and sexual intimacy and love, we replace it with another person. If this is the case, the object of our love and desire is not consequential. Our objects of love and desire fit certain characteristics that make them suitable as an outlet to sublimate our intense feelings toward our Mothers. Their personalities and identities are secondary to their fundamental purpose. In a Freudian context, I think all relationships are merely replacements for the relationship we desire for with our Mothers. My ex, the Freud expert that he is, should probably agree.

I have been replaced, but then again, I was merely a replacement to begin with.

This doesn't make me feel any better.

It does explain why he found it unnecessary to continue communicating with me though. If that isn't a sign of how I have been replaced, I don't know what is.